Editing blues and writer's block

I'm kind of lost at the moment. I'm practically done writing Chocolate Aftertaste. All that's left are some edit finishing touches and I'm finding it so hard. I wrote an 80 000 word manuscript. How did that happen when I'm finding it so hard to get through this editing? I hate editing, I hate it like the pest.

Sorry for venting out loud. I needed to let out some steam. Editing is pushing me into writer's block. It has to stop. It has to stop now.
An hour ago I made a decision. I'm going to create a fixed writing schedule. I'm not a morning person, at least that's what I'd been telling myself for as long as I can remember. I've decided to check if that is actually true.

Lately there just don't seem to be enough hours in my day. There are so many things vying for my attention. When I get back from work, cook, eat,study etc., my day melts away like an ice cube in warm water. I try to squeeze in a few hours a week to edit, but I still don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.

What I need is a fixed writing schedule and that's what I'm about to create. From tomorrow morning, I'm going to be waking up earlier so I can write/edit for two hours before leaving for work. I know it probably won't be that easy. You have no idea how much I love my morning sleep. I do hope it gets easier with each day. I'll keep my eyes fixed on the goal. I want to start searching for agents by my 30th birthday in June-my present to myself. I hope that keeps me keeping on.

The days I feel like destroying the world I've created

Yesterday I skimmed through my synopsis draft. When I got to the end, I realized I was not happy with it--the ending (the synopsis too, but that's a story for another day). That was all it took for me to question the novel I spent almost two years working on, the novel I thought was one of my best. Now, there I was, thinking it was my worst. my husband did everything to remind me I'm a great writer. Well, he is my husband, my biggest fan. What else would he say?
I think the only person that can really motivate a writer, is him or herself. People can only encourage us so much. They can tell us everything we want to hear, but in the end, it's up to us to believe it. Most of the time I'm very good at motivating and encouraging myself, but sometimes, it's just so hard. Yesterday was one of those days.

My husband diligently listed all the reasons he thought I'm a great writer, I nodded--equally diligently--but my mind was far away. In the end, after thirty minutes of nodding and staring into space, I dragged myself off the couch and went to cook dinner. I was still not quite present, it's a wonder I didn't burn dinner. Later, after a hot shower I got it. The wrong man got the girl. I love both of the male characters that are after Nora, my protagonist, but there can only be one Mr. Right. I had given her the wrong one and I couldn't get a moment of peace until I did the right thing. If she's not happy, I'm not happy.

The blockage has been removed and the fountain of my imagination is flowing freely again.

So, that was it really. The rain stopped, the sun broke out from behind the dark clouds, and once again, I was the best writer in my world.

What do you do when you reach your low point(s)?

A few of my favorite things

There's nothing I love more than finding a package from Amazon in our mailbox--addressed to me of course. If someone asks me what I want for my birthday, Christmas, anniversary, or other occasions that require unwrapping presents, I always just have one answer. Books, books, books and many more of them.

Back to why I'm writing this post. A few weeks ago I received one of my endless orders from Amazon. This is what I bought:

 Romance Writer's Phrase Book (Perigee): I actually bought a copy of this book last year but after moving twice, it disappeared. I loved it so much that after ransacking the apartment for months and not finding it, I had to order it again. I can live without it, but I don't want to. It's not only the romance phrases I'm interested in--some are really great--but the way it never fails to get my juices flowing is inspiring. I just had to get it...AGAIN. I know at some point I'll probably bump into the old copy, but what the hell, then I'll have a reserve.

 The First Five Pages: A Writer's Guide to Staying Out of the Rejection Pile: I heard great things about this book. I haven't really read it through yet, but so far, I am happy with the advice Noah Lukeman has given me. It definitely wasn't a waste of money.

 Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Second Edition: How to Edit Yourself Into Print : I really like this book, but I was quite frustrated when it landed in my mailbox. When I flipped the first few pages, I realized that I already have it--with a different cover. But I do have to tell you that it is worth having because it taught so much about editing. I thought my writing was all that, until I read Chapter 1: Show and Tell.and Chapter 7: Easy Beats. After reading especially those two chapters, I wanted to shrivel up and die. The scenes, sentences, and words I thought made my novel a super star, were the things I did wrong. I'm glad I bought it. And having a second copy can't hurt either.

 The Describer's Dictionary: A Treasury of Terms & Literary Quotations: This book is the reason for this post. I love it love it love it. I mentioned on twitter that I love a reference book that just gets me. This book is it. No writer should be without it. With this book at my side, I think faster, writer stronger and make my scenes pop like never before.

Those were just a few reference books I feel make my life a little easier. They deserved a mention.

What are your favorite writing reference books?

The gift of creation

Did I mention I love being a writer? Okay. Then let me tell you something you don't know. I really love being a writer.
I love that I have the power to create and destroy as I please. At the moment, I'm at a stage in my novel where I'm about to break a character's hand. I don't know yet exactly how it will happen, but I have enough words at my disposal to create something that will fall on his hand and fracture his bones.
Don't worry. I have nothing against him. I'm actually doing it for him. When he realizes a few pages later why I did it, he'll actually thank me for it. See, I'm not that mean. I wouldn't hurt a beloved character just because it brings me pleasure. I'm a romance writer after all. I'm in the business of creating love, not pain.
What I'm trying to say here is that writing is an amazing thing and I thank God for giving me this gift. Sometimes I flip through my manuscript(s) and am still astonished that what had started as one word, is now a whole new world with people breathing, eating, drinking, laughing, and living in it. Really, can it get better than that?